So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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