then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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