Tell her she can't have a vagina
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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