I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
