everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
this will be a night to untag.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
