Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
