I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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