I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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