all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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