the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
