don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
