it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
