We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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