You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
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You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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