I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
