if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
