It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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