no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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