I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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