Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
