no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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