she told me i tasted like america
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
