physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
