he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
