I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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