I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
