My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize