I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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