babies were throwing up all over the place
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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