My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
