he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
