you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
