I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
