why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
