Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
