is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
