So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
