Whod you bang
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
