I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
