no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
