I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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