whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
