did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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