forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
