i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
