Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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