you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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