This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
