why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
