So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
