I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
