I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
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I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
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I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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