I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
