bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
