we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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