In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
