so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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