But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
