So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
