dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
