my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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