new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
