Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
