I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
