READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
