I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
