I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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