Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just cut my nipple shaving
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
